This post is by our guest blogger and A Little Peace of Mind graduate, Amie Joof.
Here Amie shares her story of change – you can find all the posts in this series here: http://alittlepeaceofmind.co.uk/amie
I went to the opticians today for the first time in over 3 years. I put up with terrible vision and excruciating headaches for 3 years because I couldn’t bring myself to go for an appointment. For me, the opticians used to be the scariest thing.
Today, it was a whole other experience. I purposely arrived 15 minutes early so I could look around and try some new glasses on. I was then called in for my eye test, completely calm, nothing else on my mind other than getting my eyes tested and the odd thought about the optician ladies mascara which was really long and nice. I wonder where she got that from. I laughed for ages with the lady because she read an incident on my notes history about me accidentally gluing my eye shut when I was 11 (long story).
I got my eyes tested and just like I thought, my vision had gotten worse and I needed a stronger prescription, no surprise there as I haven’t been for a test in over 3 years. The test was over and the lady said as my dad has diabetes I could get a free eye screening check for diabetes and other eye problems. She said the test would be done upstairs with another optician and it would take about 25 minutes.
Without even hesitating I asked for that test and I thought its definitely worth having that, it’s important. So off I went, by myself, to meet another lady. I had my head in a large white machine for 20 minutes having pictures done and tests. I can promise you all now, I never had one tiny bit of anxiety, and this is someone who couldn’t leave her house. At all. I felt so calm, I was just relaxing, just simply at my optician appointment like everyone else that was there.
The thing is, I’m not saying it would have been bad if I did feel anxious, because that’s not bad at all, and I still get anxious from time to time (who doesn’t?) but the difference is, I honestly don’t mind now. If you’re still struggling with this you may be wondering how on earth can she say she doesn’t mind being anxious. But I promise you, I don’t.
It’s funny, it’s almost like because I don’t mind being anxious now, it very rarely shows up. It’s almost like when you don’t want a child to do something, they really want to do it. Perhaps they really want to stay up an extra hour or have another cake, but the minute you give in and tell them, fine, whatever, they don’t actually seem to want it anymore. That’s what it’s like with anxiety for me. The minute I just let it be, it sodded off!