This post is by our guest blogger and Little Peace of Mind graduate, Amie Joof.
Here Amie shares her story of change – you can find all the posts in this series here: http://alittlepeaceofmind.co.uk/amie
Five months ago I couldn’t leave my house, today I went into work for a visit. I’ve worked there for 3 and a half years since I was 16, working as a support worker for elderly people with severe disabilities.
I’ve been off of work for a year, with SO much thinking about it. I really believed my job defined me and made me who I was. I believed that if I never had that job I wasn’t good enough and I had no purpose.
I woke up today and looked at the date, it’s my key service users’ birthday (all colleagues are assigned to work with a certain individual 1:1) I’ve worked with him for years and he turned 70 today, he means the absolute world to me. I really, really wanted to see him, but I was nervous about going back for the first time in a year.. but I went.
I’ve learnt that I don’t have to be calm to go places. I can go anxious too. So I did. I don’t let feelings run my life anymore. I used to not go places if I was anxious about it, now I go regardless.
A few months ago I was thinking of things to make up in case my colleagues asked if I have a new job yet, I was embarrassed to say I wasn’t working. Yet today, when they asked what I was doing with myself I held my head high and said “I’m taking time for me, exploring and discovering new things everyday and having a break.” And they all smiled and said that’s great.
I had an amazing day, it felt great being at work again and although I was only visiting and I’ve been off for a year, I was still reacting to things as if I’d been there yesterday! I was still helping clients drink their drinks and helping them get from one place to another, because wisdom is always there no matter what, I never forgot anything. How amazing.
I’m so grateful for this understanding.